8 February 2024


It’s a tradition like no other. As NFL players and coaches take the field in an effort to define their careers and become a part of the forever fabric of professional football, so too do another set of warriors claim the stage to etch their names, whether it be Mr. Poopers, Butterscotch or Gizmo, into history by hoisting the Lombarky Trophy as the goodest of boys and girls. Yes, I am talking, of course, about the annual Puppy Bowl that will be broadcast about four hours before Super Bowl LVIII kicks off.

And since it’s sports and it’s on television, you better believe we have some Prop Bets with which to make Mittens McCloud’s victory that much sweeter

Team Ruff, led by newcomer phenom Bark Purdy will face off against Team Fluff, the defending champions, and Patrick Mabones, a pup who already has his Hall of Fame resume well in hand.

This is the eighth all time meeting between Team Ruff and Team Fluff since they began keeping score, with Team Fluff holding the edge 4-3, winning the last two straight. Yes, this is the 20th Annual Puppy Bowl, but they apparently didn’t keep score for the first 12 of them. That baffles me. What was the point? Just looking at cute puppies doing cute puppy things? Pbbffft.

Last year Team Fluff took the game 87-83 and Pickle, a Pomeranian, was named the game’s Most Valuable Puppy.

The points system for the Puppy Bowl boils down to toys, specifically dragging a toy into the endzone with only a few puppies on the field at a time.

Who will win the Puppy Bowl?

Team Fluff -150

Team Ruff +110

Yes, Team Fluff, the defending champs, are favored and Team Ruff are, well, underdogs. Considering I made the Kansas City Chiefs my Super Bowl pick, how can I go against Team Fluff and Patrick Mabones here? Plus I have a feeling that Bark Purdy might be called for multiple “Turd on the 20” calls. You can’t trust that guy to keep it together in a big game.

Total points in the Puppy Bowl?

Under 165.5 points -150

Over 165.5 points +110

Oh yeah, we’re getting some real Puppy Bowl analytics here. Last year’s 170 combined points was an aberration and the highest point total in Puppy Bowl history. We had back-to-back tight 73-69 victories before that, with Ruff and Fluff both taking one. The most points scored by an individual team was 93 by Team Fluff in Puppy Bowl XIII in a monster blowout upset, that also is the game’s largest margin of victory as Team Ruff managed only 38 points.

The under is the safer bet here.

Who Will Score the game winning touchdown?

Patrick Mabones +600

Small Ed +800

Captain Chaos +1000

Dallas +1000

Niner +1200

Guy Furieri +1200

Francine +1600

Bob Barker +1600

Cherry +1600

Ozzie +2000

Lady Luck +2000

Charlotte +2000

Levi +2500

Linus +2500

Courage +2500

Bailey +2500

Betty +2500

Bark Purdy +3300

This isn’t every dog that will participate, but they’re all listed here. I’m not sure why Bork Purdy was picked as a captain/quarterback if his odds are this low. Patrick Mabones obviously comes in with a lot of heat, but hopefully he’s not in heat. Captain Chaos shows a lot of promise, but he might not be the pup scoring the winning touchdown, but the canine who runs up the score in a route. I’m saying Patrick Mabones is the bet but might still toss some cash and love on Captain Chaos. Whoever named him that must know something.

Sex of winning TD scorer?

Female -250

Male +170

Lastly, if I’m going with Patrick Mabones, I might as well double dip here, especially with some plus money.

Puppy Bowl XX kicks off Sunday at 2 p.m. EST on Animal Planet, Discovery, TBS, TruTV and steaming on Max.

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