It always surprises me how quickly the NFL weeks start to jet by once the actual season kicks off. It doesn’t hurt that, counting college football, we have just two days a week (Tuesday and Wednesday) without games, sometimes multiple options, to watch.

This week, there’s no real movement at the top of the rankings or at the very bottom, but those teams in the middle still seem to be sorting it out. So, hey, let’s offer an assist by arbitrarily ranking them.


Most teams look worse on Thursday night than they do on Sunday afternoon. After floundering a little in Week1, the Eagles looked every bit like the defending NFC Champions in Week 2, at least from the second quarter on against the Minnesota Vikings. Also, I want to say a word about the NFL coaches wanting the league to outlaw Philly’s short yardage QB sneak play. Suck it up, losers. Yes, they’ve devised an unstoppable play that can gain exactly 1-2 yards. Now it’s up to you to come up with a play to stop it. That’s how this whole thing works. Last week: No. 1


The two best rosters in the NFL populate the two top spots, but the Niners got all they could handle last week from a scrappy Los Angeles Rams team that no one expected to do much in 2023. I will say this, my bold prediction that Brock Purdy would get benched by Thanksgiving is looking way off right now. Last week: No. 2


Not only have the Dolphins looked nearly unstoppable on offense over the first two weeks of the season, they made sure the New England Patriots would open the year 0-2, making their appearance on next summer’s HBO’s Hard Knocks that much more likely. Also, it’s great that Tua Tagovailoa is healthy and has apparently learned how to take a hit. If I was a quarterback, I’d be signing up for whatever Jujitsu thing Tua is doing today. Last week: No. 3


There was no way the Chiefs would start the year 0-2, but I didn’t see them completely dominating the Jacksonville Jaguars on defense and surrendering a single digit score. Last week: No. 4


Dallas has surrendered 10 points to two New York teams this season in total. Now, let’s not pretend the Jets have an elite offense (in spite of some elite offensive players) without Aaron Rodgers, but these have been two real NFL teams. And while the Giants probably won’t make the playoffs this year, Brian Daboll is a hell of a coach and Dan Quinn’s defense blanked him. Last week:  No. 5


When the season began, it looked as if the Ravens were in the toughest division in the NFL. While I expected them to battle for the division and certainly land a Wild Card, I didn’t expect the rest of the AFC North to look, well, this bad. Baltimore may walk to a division title and could also be looking at home field advantage and a bye in the playoffs. Last week: No. 7


The loss to the Chiefs wasn’t a shocker. Jacksonville still has a ways to go before they can count on wins like that against a great squad with its back against the wall. What was surprising was the poor performance of the offense, scoring just nine points. Last week: No. 6


We like to say there are no moral victories in the NFL and it’s probably true. But to stand toe-to-toe with the 49ers and be a play or three away from actually winning the game was a solid step forward for a Rams team that half of NFL punditry expected to tank this season. Puka Nacua has set new rookie records for receptions and yards in his first two games. Tutu Atwell has shed the bust label and now the Rams have the Bengals coming up on the schedule, which looks very winnable now, before a game against the Indianapolis Colts. Last week: No. 9


Joe Burrow hobbling back to the sideline after another poor game just shows that the team rushed him back too fast after his preseason calf injury. Now, they’re talking about possibly sitting him for a game or more. With Aaron Donald and Jeffery Simmons on the other side of the field over the next two contests, that might not be the worst idea. If Burrow does hit the bench for the next four games and Cincy pulls out two wins, they come out of their bye 2-4 and absolutely could make a run if Burrow is 100 percent. It’s probably the smart move. Last week: No. 8


You know, I didn’t pick Detroit to win in Week 1, but did think they’d cover. Week 2? I figured they’d blow the Seattle Seahawks off the field. To drop that game, after such a masterful win nine days before over the Chiefs (with the extra prep time too) is a bad look for a team we all hope will play into late January. Last week:  No. 10


So this is what it looks like when Josh Allen doesn’t hand the ball to the other team multiple times? Weird. Now they have the 2-0 Washington Commanders coming up on the schedule and the best thing Buffalo can do for a long suffering fanbase is beat the Commanders by 50. Yes, I was talking about Washington’s fanbase. Who did you think I meant? Last week: No. 14


Three teams in the NFC South open the year 2-0, but with a visit to the Green Bay Packers coming up Sunday. Frankly, looking at every NFC South’s team schedule, I think they’re all taking losses in Week 3. Last week: No. 17


Speaking of 2-0 NFC South teams, this is the third year in a row that Tampa Bay has opened 2-0. Last year, even with Tom Brady at the helm, that led to an 8-9 finish. But, hey, they still made the playoffs as division champions. I didn’t expect much out of the Buccaneers this season and still don’t. They’ve looked better than I thought they would and could take the title at the end of the year as well as the all but guaranteed beat down from the NFC fifth seed that comes with it. Last week: No. 18


Speaking of 2-0 teams, there are three in the NFC East as well. I’m more confident that two of those squads, the Cowboys and Eagles, are headed for the postseason. All the Commanders are doing with this early season competence is screwing up their shot at Caleb Williams in next April’s NFL Draft. Lucky for them Drake Maye and Shadeur Sanders look like solid NFL prospects too and I’m pretty sure Sanders would be more than happy to play for the new owners of one of his dad’s former teams. Last week: No. 20


To lose a game you not only should have won due to not one, but giving up two turnover touchdowns while also losing Nick Chubb? No happy ending there. Somebody better hide Deshaun Watson’s phone this week. Wednesday morning ESPN announced that Cleveland would reunite with Kareem Hunt so Indianapolis Colts fans can probably keep that Jonathan Taylor jersey for another week.  Last week: No. 12


I don’t care that the game was on the road, taking a loss to a Falcons team I’m still convinced will fire their head coach before Santa starts loading his slay is a bad look after a strong showing against the Chicago Bears in Week 1. Makes you think that the Bears might just suck huh? Hey, wait a minute… Last week: No. 13

17. NEW YORK JETS (1-1)

I’m trying to do right by the Jets, who lost spectacularly against the Cowboys this weekend, but we all know this team is eventually headed somewhere in the high 20s or even 30s of the Power Rankings. There’s talk of a potential Kirk Cousins trade with the Vikings, which would amount to a one-year rental since his contract is basically up at the end of the season. But what would that cost? The truth is, and I’ll keep saying it, lean into losing. You’ll get a higher draft pick, which will be a first rounder now that Aaron Rodgers won’t play 60 percent of the offensive snaps. Use it on a left tackle. A Cousins trade probably costs you that first round pick and, at best, lands you in the AFC Wild Card and an immediate exit from the playoffs. I believe Rodgers when he says he’s fighting to come back next season. No reason not to make sure he will take the field with the best team he possibly can, with a new(ish) offensive line when he does. Last week: No. 11


Yeah, yeah, it was a “great” comeback, but falling behind to the Arizona Cardinals, a team with probably the worst overall roster in football looking for, at worst, a Top 2 pick in next year’s draft, shouldn’t make anyone feel good. New York football is going to be rough this season. Last week: No. 21


Last week I made the joke that TJ Watt was being too selfish, piling up sacks, tackles, pressures and turnovers and not once scoring a touchdown. Well, apparently Teej took it to heart, because his fumble scoop and score was the difference in a Steelers win over the Cleveland Browns. Last week: No. 22


After a week being the lowest ranked winning team, the Falcons can now enjoy being the lowest ranked undefeated team. Is this a sign of disrespect? You better believe it. Last week: No. 23


Yes, this is probably the lowest you’ll see the Seahawks ranked in any Power Rankings this week, but never fear. The rest of NFL punditry will catch up as we go along. Last week: No. 24


Are the Titans a decent bad team or a bad decent team. Either way, I think Will Levis will get handed the baton for Tennessee soon enough. Last week: No. 26


Justin Herbert has now lost 10 games in which the Chargers have led in the fourth quarter, That’s the most losses of that type in the NFL since 2020. So, you know, if you’re looking to piss Brandon Staley off in your next press conference LA media, bring that one up. As for Staley, he’s putting my prediction that Arthur Smith will be the first head coach fired this season at some real risk. Last week: No. 15


You mean to tell me that Josh McDaniels can’t stack up two wins or even passable offensive performances in a row? Gasp! Last week: No. 16


Brandon Staley isn’t the only member of the Sean McVay coaching tree off to an 0-2 start. Minnesota’s offense isn’t playing poorly at all, so there’s no use blaming this on Kurt Cousins. This defense can’t stop anyone, especially when it matters the most. There’s talk, considering this is a lame duck year for Kirk, that Minny might deal him before the trade deadline and just cut bait. I can’t say that would be the worst idea if they’re sitting at 2-6 or worse. This Sunday’s game hosting the Chargers is basically a loser leaves town match. Except Staley, not Vikes head man Kevin O’Connell, might actually have to leave his town if he loses it. Last week: No. 19


Another solid looking game for Anthony Richardson and a win at that, but he was banged up again and he definitely can’t improve as an NFL quarterback if he can’t stay on the field. Last week: No. 28


The enjoyment I’m experiencing with this Patriots winless start, and the reaction of their local media specifically, has been nothing short of delectable. This franchise has single handedly ruined 20 years of the NFL. It’ll be nice for them to be a recurring garbage fire over the next few seasons at least. Last week: No. 25


Losing to the Raiders in Week 1 wasn’t terrible. Jimmy Garoppolo is a good quarterback and a proven winner. But to be stunned, at home, by a Sam Howell led Commanders team is all but unforgivable. Sean Payton may miss that NBC Sports analyst desk more than he thinks. Last week: No. 27


Speaking of head coaches who could find themselves unemployed before the kids even finish their Halloween candy, Matt Eberflus could be heading to the ejector seat after an absolutely horrid start from a team plenty of people in Chicago (and maybe only there, but those folks are the ones that count the most) had high hopes for in 2023. Last week: No. 29


I’m not saying DeMeco Ryans is in any hot water at all and no one expects much from the Texans this year, but it’s remarkable to think, considering how bad they’ve been, that this is their first 0-2 start since 2020, And that was the start that got Bill O’Brien fired. Last week: No. 30


It’s too bad the Panthers traded away so many picks to land Bryce Young because they could really use a few more bodies up front to protect him next season. At least head coach Frank Reich and general manager Scott Fitterer will have him on a rookie contract so they can open up the wallet and poach a decent line in free agency next offseason. Last week: No. 31


See, here’s the problem with tossing the keys to your team to Joshua Dobbs. There’s no question that the Cardinals, at least their front office, wanted to lose the vast majority of their games this season. They want a high pick. Hell, they’d love to have the No. 1 overall pick to see if they can realistically cut bait (if they want) on Kyler Murray and draft Caleb Williams. It’s not like they haven’t done it before. Just look at Josh Rosen, who is still shockingly unemployed and really needs to hit up the XFL or USFL next season. Anyway, the issue with Dobbs is, he’s smart. Crazy smart. Like he’s the best future astronaut to ever play NFL football. And with actual NFL talent around him, and every team — even the bad ones — has NFL talent on it, he can play pretty well. Arizona will win some games that they shouldn’t and nothing would be worse for the future of the franchise. Last week:  No. 32

Follow Adam Greene on Twitter @TheFirstMan.

Connect with us our socials on Twitter and Instagram for the latest sports news, viral moments, betting odds and the occasional memes.


  • All Post
  • Sports Betting