NFL WEEK 6: POWER RANKINGS
BY ADAM GREENE It’s time to break out the smiley face stickers and the sad clowns. Let’s rank some football teams! KANSAS CITY CHIEFS (4-1) Another week, another ridiculous Patrick Mahomes performance, this time storming back from a 17-point deficit to overtake the Las Vegas Raiders on Monday night. Fun fact — this is the first Power Rankings of the season with a repeat No. 1. Last week: No. 1 BUFFALO BILLS (4-1) The Bills toyed with the Pittsburgh Steelers for all of a quarter, like a killer whale and a seal in one of those nature documentaries where David Attenborough makes you care about a cute animal only to see it barely escape the jaws of death. Only there was no escape for the Steelers Sunday. Buffalo and Kansas City are significantly ahead of the rest of the crowd this point in the season. And, yes, I’m even talking about the lone undefeated squad ranked just beneath them. Last week: No. 3 PHILADELPHIA EAGLES (5-0) While Philadelphia has one of the easiest overall schedules in the NFL, their 5-0 record is no illusion. They dominated the 4-1 Minnesota Vikings in Week 2 and then outlasted the Arizona Cardinals, who made the playoffs last year, on the road. This is a good team. I don’t think they’ll hold up as the best team in the NFC, but they are absolutely playing the best through the first five weeks of the season. Last week: No. 4 TAMPA BAY BUCCANEERS (3-2) The Bucs stopped a two-game skid with a suddenly very important win over the Atlanta Falcons. Nothing is looking easy in Tampa Bay this season, but it’s not like they haven’t had their share of distractions in “Acts of God” and “Acts of Gisele” both. On the bright side, Antonio Brown quitting the team in New York last season looks more like a blessing every single day. Last week: No. 6 LOS ANGELES CHARGERS (3-2) Los Angeles outlasted a spry Cleveland Browns team on the road Sunday. Justin Herbert looks healthier each week and running back Austin Ekeler picked the perfect time to win everybody some Daily Fantasy cash. Last week: No. 9 GREEN BAY PACKERS (3-2) There’s bad losses, then there’s losing to the New York Giants in London while sacrificing a home game at Lambeau to do it. Apparently there’s some internal issues that Aaron Rodgers doesn’t like with the team’s “attitude” as well. Maybe he should have invited them all to his last ayahuasca enema party. Last week: No. 2 SAN FRANCISCO 49ERS (3-2) As bad as it is to write (and know), Trey Lance’s injury put this 49ers team atop the NFC West five weeks in and has them angling for a division title and home playoff game. With Lance, they wouldn’t have made it at all and would probably be 0-5. Last week: No. 10 MINNESOTA VIKINGS (4-1) After co-leading the NFC North for a week, the Vikings are all alone atop the division after a Packers stumble across the pond. With Teddy Bridgewater and Tua Tagovailoa’s statuses with the Miami Dolphins up in the air for next Sunday and a friendly schedule for the two following weeks, they could remain there for a while. Last week: No. 11 DALLAS COWBOYS (4-1) If you were a Cowboys fan hoping to bring in Sean Payton next season, I have bad news. Somebody is doing a great coaching job in Dallas, and while it might not be Mike McCarthy (and he’s definitely not sucking), he’s resting comfortably on a very cold seat. I have some worse news — Dan Quinn, your best coach on the staff, has the defense playing at a championship level and might work his way into another head coaching job next year. Last week: No. 12 LOS ANGELES RAMS (2-3) Oof. The winning team isn’t supposed to suffer from a Super Bowl hangover, but the Rams look like they’re traveling Vegas with a baby strapped to their chest after getting a black eye from Mike Tyson. Injuries to the offensive line have doomed the team in their title defense with Matthew Stafford getting pressured on 45.9 percent of his drop backs this season and the running game is nonexistent. Last week: No. 5 BALTIMORE RAVENS (3-2) Baltimore slipped past the defending AFC Champion Cincinnati Bengals last Sunday and, in so doing, are all alone atop the AFC North. There’s a lot of season to go, but if Lamar Jackson stays healthy (and with the way Greg Roman calls games, that’s a big “if”) they could stay there. Last week: No. 13 TENNESSEE TITANS (3-2) After an 0-2 start, the Titans have turned their season around with three consecutive wins. They can all but seal the deal by knocking off the Indianapolis Colts for a second time in three weeks Sunday. Last week: No. 15 CINCINNATI BENGALS (2-3) The Bengals have gotten no help from their schedule and there’s plenty of season to go, but this has been a disappointing start for a team and a fanbase who hoped to have buried the “Bungles” for good. Last week: No. 7 MIAMI DOLPHINS (3-2) The Dolphins can’t keep their quarterbacks out of the concussion protocol and the guy they’d most want to trade for is currently starting in San Francisco. It’d be a shame to see injuries knock this team out of the playoff hunt this early when it looked like they’d cruise to at least a Wild Card in the first month of the season. Preseason: No. 8 NEW YORK GIANTS (4-1) Well, all of us prepared for this Giants train to derail just got flattened like a penny by that win over the Packers Sunday in London. I think Brian Daboll might have been the right hire, here. How did the NFC East become the best division in the conference? Last week: No. 17 NEW YORK